The Good Life

You haven’t heard from me for a while, probably because in the last few weeks I have been far too busy enjoying “the good life.” And by “the good life” I mean reading children’s books, going for long walks and watching “Scrubs.” So pretty fraking good. Maybe I haven’t written for a while because the title of my blog no longer makes sense; I am technically employed, after all, even if my job officially starts this coming Monday. A more apt title would be something along the lines of “Life After College in Manayunk” or “Employed at Three Part-Time Jobs in Manayunk.” Neither have quite the right pathos. Even if it is no longer particularly accurate, I’m sticking with the title because it’s gotten me this far. By “this far” I mean through the six or so posts I’ve actually put here. Through all my lazy days at home, I haven’t been able to find the time to update every once in a while, by which, of course, I mean I have watched way too many episodes of Scrubs. But I digress.

            The prospect of returning to work has got me thinking. Even though at times sitting at home I have been bored out of my mind, antsy, dissatisfied, felt useless and broke, worried about funny smells, wished I could be somewhere else, there are many things I’m going to miss about being unemployed (or occasionally employed as I am now). No more long walks every day that always seem to end up at the house up on Green Lane with the pot-bellied pig (it’s so ugly that it’s adorable). No more grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch every day (unless I bring a hot plate to work). No more sipping my absurdly large cup of coffee, leisurely eating my oatmeal and watching anywhere from three to five episodes of my Scrubs back to back. No more sitting down in the middle of the day and reading a book cover to cover. But to replace all those things I will have a steady source of income doing something that I’m pretty sure I’ll love. I’ll still be able to go on walks, even if they’re not as long. I’ll still read my books cover to cover, though it might take me an extra day. While I’ll miss tomato soup, there’s always the weekend, and I could certainly do with less TV in my life. Most of all, I am looking forward to that tired feeling I get after a day of work, the feeling that tells me I’ve done something productive and helps me fall asleep without tossing and turning for an hour. Through my time without a job, I’ve come to understand myself as a person who likes to do, to accomplish things, not to sit at home like a blob. I find this understanding immensely comforting, poised as I am at the brink of a lifetime of work to do.  

Some Good News...with a Caveat

This morning I got the good news that I’ve been waiting for: they’re hiring me at the children’s bookstore! But…there’s a catch. They won’t be taking me on until October 16^th. That’s almost a month from now. How will I keep from dipping too far into my savings account as I wait for my life as an employed citizen? To begin, I already have a once or twice a month (or three times, as it’s turning out) gig working the front desk at the Schuylkill Center, which provides me with eight hours of sitting on my ass and getting paid to knit. Pretty sweet, but only covers my groceries and my fuel, if I’m careful. I’ve also been writing copy for websites, but that pays a stunning $.01 per word, so not going to get rich on that one any time soon. My other job at the Schuylkill Center as an educator starts next week, but again is super part time.

So…where then will I find the money to pay the approximately $150 a week that I need for utilities and rent?

I give you now, ladies and gentlemen, my grand plan for becoming wealthy in the next month (or at least, some ideas. I certainly have no shortage of time to scheme):

Idea Number One: I will find someone to sponsor my extensive walking trips around Manayunk. Maybe Nike would be willing to pay me $.01 a step. I could spray the bottom of my shoes with water (or paint) and leave little Nike prints all over the place. It would be fabulous advertising. If they don’t bite, I could always take my bid to Adidas or Puma. Perhaps I could even get a new pair of tennis shoes thrown into the bargain.

Idea Number Two: Using my fabulous knitting skills, I will start a business knitting custom sweaters for lap dogs. This is a perfect idea, since I can also sell my wares to the approximately 14 dog boutiques on Main Street.

Idea Number Three: Since my neighborhood is full of college students, I will start a paper writing service. For just $.10 a word, I will write you the A grade paper you have always dreamed of (provided it’s on something English-y). Then again, I think someone has already cornered the market on this one. 

Idea Number Four: With the power of only one 12-inch non-stick frying pan and a four burner gas stove, I will start a catering business specializing in fried rice and curry.

Idea Number Five: Become a psychic and make over my bedroom into a “den of truth” (or something to that effect). This course of action might require me to purchase a crystal ball and/or tarot cards, so it’s maybe not the most viable one right now.

With all these exciting options for the next month, how could I go wrong? Though, on second thought, maybe I should just try babysitting.